Monday, October 29, 2012

So, last night I prayed... kind of.

I've never been much of one for praying, at least not in the traditional sense. It always seemed like such a formal way to communicate with God, the Divine Essence, the Collective Unconscious, etc., whatever you want to call the energy that connects all living things. I generally call it the Universe, and sometimes we chat.

I am finding myself in places and situations I have never been in before; gotta say, it's pretty freakin' exciting! But it leaves me not always knowing how to proceed. I can't take the same actions I've always taken in the past; if I truly want something different in my life now I have to take a different approach to life. And trust me, where I've been is not where I'm heading!

So, last night I prayed... Kind of.

I was trying to fall asleep; you know, how you do when you have an early morning the next day. And my mind wouldn't just be nice and be quiet; you know, the way it does when you have an early morning the next day. And as I tried to get more comfortable, again, I had this thought:

"If the Universe has put me in this situation, maybe It can tell me what to do next..."

So, I got still in my body and quiet in my mind and comfy in my heart and I asked It. I asked It for guidance. I asked It for help in feeling my way through this place It has led me to. I asked for It to share It's wisdom with me. I thanked It for the bounty of love in my life. I thanked It for a heart that's big enough to love the whole world. I thanked It for blessing me with my amazing life. And then I listened... and breathed deeply... and listened... And then I got something that's both beautiful and hilarious:

"You already have everything you need."

Breathe in... Breathe out... and then it hit me and I felt kind of silly. I had spent the entire afternoon discussing with a totally inspiring friend how we create all our thoughts, including the "I don't know" thoughts. "I don't know" is just a thought to keep us from tapping into our true power. If there's ever anything that you need to know, you go find out, you research it, you figure it out. But being stuck in an "I don't know" thought is all our own doing.  

Because really, you know; deep down somewhere, you just know. 

But sometimes we don't want to admit that we know, because sometimes we don't like the answer. Sometimes that answer means we have to go outside of our comfort zone, do something we don't want to do, say something we're scared of saying. Sometimes it means we can't pretend to not know, can't hide out, can't look the other way anymore. Most of the time it means taking a LEAP and having to trust that there will be somewhere to land.


1 comment:

  1. Jenni, last time I remember actively praying was in late June. I was riding my motorbike down Hwy 1 between Chilliwack and the ferry. It was raining hard, blowing hard and the traffic was doing 100kmh which meant I had to as well. I just kept repeating "I am safe, I am loved" over and over and felt the fear recede. Turns out fear and love/prayer can't co-exist. I'd highly recommend prayer anytime! Thx for sharing your journey with us. Kimberley xo