Friday, January 7, 2011

Wide Awake at 2am

I don't know what to write about tonight.  My brain is spinning.  I know I should be trying to go to sleep but so many crazy, good, potentially bad, and just darn confusing things have happened this week and I just don't know what to make of them all.

I got news from my boss today that she wants my position to go to being part-time.  Like 2-3 days a week, part time.  This could be good if I get student loans because then I would get 2 days off each week to study and have a social life of some sort.  But if I don't get student loans I have to find another full time job or drop out of school.  I'm trying to stay positive, but that's easier said than done.

Starting school has been great!  I am very excited to start my training, and I am in love with the anatomy and physiology I get to learn.  But it's also very stressful starting something new.  This isn't surprising, but I don't think I was expecting to be this anxious about it.  I haven't slept all week and I now apparently don't need to eat, like ever.  Which is strange because I usually can't go that long between meals or I get cranky and light headed.

I think it all mostly has to do with not knowing how things are going to be.  I like knowing.  I really like knowing.  And I get really stressed out when I don't know.  This seems kind-of silly as there are so many unknowns in life.  Maybe this is why I am so confronted by it right now, perhaps the world is trying to teach me something... hmmm...

1 comment:

  1. OMG. Knowing is like a drug. The more you know, the more you want to know. Or atleast that's how it is forme. You already know you are on the right path. Why on earth would you declare to The Universe what you want and then think that the Universe might now be conspiring against you to not have you get what you want. No no. That's not how your life works. Remember? I am so excited for you.

    January 1st you were granted a blank slate.

    Go paint.