When was the last time you, metaphorically, stood at the edge of a cliff, looked behind you and knew you could safely hike back down, and instead chose to jump into the unknown?
When was the last time you did something without knowing how it was going to be in the end? Or how you were going to finish what you started?
When was the last time you did something you thought you would never do? Something that scared the shit out of you? Something that made you unbearably uncomfortable? Something that made your heart race so fast it felt like it would explode?
I think it's healthy to take risks and do things that really require a leap of faith, not to mention this is where the fun is in life! And while I am good at jumping in with both feet (and occasionally the rest of me, too) in some things, I've noticed I always have at least one area of life where I am playing so safe that it's killing me. There's always one thing that I am terrified to risk changing. And so I suffer the unhappiness that I feel from having to live that part of my life as a sliver of myself. And I've become pretty good at the suffering part. So much that I almost don't notice that I am doing it until one day I become acutely aware that it is doing me more harm than good. And even then, as I stand surrounded by cliffs begging me to jump off them, I sit down and suffer some more. Then, when I finally do make a change, I look back and wonder why it took me so long. What had I been waiting for?
What am I so afraid of in those moments, that has me choose to stay in bad situations instead of creating better ones? This is the ultimate question.
I'm sure it has to do with being a bit of a control freak (yes, I am going with "a bit") and really liking to know how it's all going to turn out. I think this comes from being more focused on the destination than the journey. I get scared that if I make the wrong choice I will end up wasting my time on something that may not work out. And in our fast-paced society where time is everything and not fully utilizing it is a terrible thing, I just get so caught up in the place that I'm going that I forget that the fun part is in the getting there.
And besides, is there anything more important to do with your time than waste it following a dream or a really juicy idea?